Part 1- Narcissistic Personality Disorder
Having a close and personal relationship with an individual struggling with narcissistic personality disorder can ultimately destroy someone. For those impacted, this can result in personally believing that narcissistic people are hopeless individuals. However, there remains a humanitarian debate of whether or not rehabilitation is truly ever possible and deserved. This includes those suffering with psychiatric disorders, addictions, and even criminal cases. It is difficult to decide whether or not someone deserves love and treatment, especially if they ravage one’s emotional stability. A narcissistic individual will negatively affect those around them, and most likely cause anxiety within those who love them the most.
Scharff and Bagnini, both well recognized sociologists, define this personality disorder as a “Pervasive pattern of grandiosity, need for admiration, and lack of empathy that begins by early adulthood and is present in a variety of contexts” (Scharff and Bagnini 2006). The same source reports that narcissistic individuals comprise 1% of the population, and 16% of clinical patients in which 50% to 75% are male. This statistic may not seem major, but it certainly has an injurious impact on the romantic partners and family members of a narcissistic individual. It is worth exploring why this disorder prevails in many individuals, including sociological development.
Narcissism is a common trauma result, and many people feel resentment towards their narcissistic loved one. People feel betrayed when someone they are close to ruins their mental health, but must remember that narcissism is a result of trauma and a lack of coping skills. Consequently, an individual cannot be entirely blamed for a situation they were born into, as their personality is a toxic defense mechanism. They lack self esteem that has erupted from childhood issues, which ultimately causes a need for admiration from others. Narcissism is a shield, utilized to aid someone in feeling powerful. This often correlates to traumatic experiences with the mother, such as a lack of effective caregiving and communication within a household. Narcissistic personality disorder is a result of childhood trauma, and even though narcissistic parents cause detrimental effects on their spouse and family, they still deserve the opportunity for rehabilitation.
Additional Background Information
Individuals living with this type of personality disorder display specific and recognizable traits that showcase their obsession with power. Scharff and Bagnini explain the common personality of a narcissist .This includes being overly erratic, emotional, arrogant, dramatic, entitled, impulsive, envious, and a perfectionist. These are all concerning traits that are common in an emotionally manipulative individual that does not comprehend the feelings of others. There is a lack of understanding that their actions and language towards their family and friends have a long-lasting and significant impact. Narcissists also have deep rooted abandonment issues, are often self destructive, take excessive pride in achievements, and hold a feeling of superiority among all others. There is a significant lack of self esteem, resulting in an emotional shield that causes the narcissist to feel their success is the most important. These individuals compare themselves to others, and will often downplay the achievements of those around them in order to uphold that feeling of superiority. It is primarily about control, which was missing from childhood and taught by society. Families are conventionally supposed to provide love and support, but some do not effectively provide either. For those individuals who are lacking this sense of unconditional love, there is high risk for psychiatric issues and an obsession with controlling others. They feel just as lost as they were as a child when they do not define the variables around them. This collides with the societal development of family as a controlled institution, traditionally forcing the male head of the household to gain and maintain control over their family. Society teaches individuals that family is a stable variable throughout life, and the early interruption of the idea of family as negative creates a ripple effect throughout one’s life. This can manifest as narcissism, and result in a lifelong need for control.
Harman and Waldo discuss the most obvious traits within a narcissist that family members easily recall. This includes a lack of emotional displays and the preoccupation with feelings of unlimited success and power (Harman and Waldo 2004). However, the significance of success and layer of fake confidence should not be confused with having genuine self esteem. According to an article within the Asian Journal of Social Psychology, it is necessary to remember that those suffering with narcissism crave admiration from others due to low self esteem. However, a truly confident person does not base positive self views on others or view themselves as superior (Shengquan et al 2016). The main difference between a narcissist and those who have high self esteem is commonly their childhood experiences and trauma. A narcissist will have suffered from trauma that traces back to infancy, frequently including the mother. There is an overprotection of one parent, and a strained relationship with the other. An individual with narcissistic personality disorder is more likely to have a negative dynamic with the mother, as well as admiration of their father. Unfortunately, this may develop as misogyny and cause negative treatment towards any woman that is emotionally vulnerable with the narcissist. These traits and childhood traumas are all common within narcissists, and provide background knowledge to why they have specific personalities.
Sources are cited on the final part of this series.
